Qualified Help

The Days episode just ended with Sean spotting John's hiding point in the bellfry, just as John had put the very obvious red-beaded site on North's chest. (Who doesn't spot the laser site on his black jacket?) The sniper took position in a confessional, first closing the curtain, as if to hide, then pushing it open on its runners with his gun, putting himself full in view.

This is the point: Roman says to Abe and Sean and the sniper, let's get up there and see if we can't stop him from killing North. You know, keep John off death row. So Roman, a high-ranking cop, slaps Sean, just a cop's son, in the chest and says, "C'mon." How is Sean qualified for this!?

This reminds me of the end of Star Trek VI. The crew of the Enterprise beams to earth to stop an assassination. Who do they send up the stair after the assassin? The least in shape among them: plump Scotty. Guh?

Still not tired of the commercial for the drain unclogger. It's the one with the beautiful French couple having a romantic dinner, a moment that's interrupted by a disgusting hair clog landing on their table like a lump of dung. We cut to an ordinairy American couple staring into a clean sink. One says, "I wonder where the clog went?"

Back to work.
-cK

The Management of Time

It's fascinating, by which I mean unfairly convenient, the way these soaps can toy with time. Here on Days, we've seen a week pass in Salem (over the last few weeks in our world), yet in less than 12 hours of Salem time, the police (led by Abe, whose site was recently restored), have suddenly decided that John Black has suffered a psychological split. They have surrounded Alex North and Marlena's wedding chapel and have brought in their ace sniper (who happens to be having an affair with Abe's wife, Lexi) to shoot John Black on sight. But it really was less than 12 hours ago in Salem when Abe and John were just talking.

So John's psychological state and storyline have aged considereably faster than the time in Salem. The police agree. Odd.

Dear Dr. Stephen Hawking, why don't you write a book about THIS? You can't be soley consumed with the black depths of space, dude. We've got to have some escapes. ...

Randoms:

1. The red curry with fried tofu from Pad Thai on Grand is outstanding. Not quite hot enough for me, but still outstanding. They ask, "How spicey?" and I say, "Very." And they pause. They say, "Hot?" and I say, "Very." And they say, "You sure?" And I say, "Yes." I think they held back again. But why? Why are they so resistant to amp it? Are the hottest spices confined to reinforced drums kept in a special climate-controlled environment? and must they be retrieved by employees dressed in Hazmat suits? Red lights flash. Welder's masks are lowered. Busboys run for it.

2. Alex North, who is played by the man who originally played Roman Brady, looks a bit like Rowan Atkinson. Especially on the show. It has something to do with the way North's cheeks wrinkle when he smiles. The folds seem to match the expressive folds in Atkinson's forehead. In Dr. Alex North's press photo, he has a touch of Michael Caine.

-cK

Lunchin'

Maverick's roast beef today. Dr. Alex North continues to boast of how he's going to "take Marlena away forever." Why? Why? WHY!? I accept that Salem is a three-hour drive from Chicago, New Orleans and anywhere else they want to go; I accept that Jack is never dead; and that John Black and Hope Brady will never ever be able to control that one raised eyebrow (the fart sniffer); but Why Why Why do these people scheme to take Marlena away "forever"? To island paradises? to evil strongholds? WTF?

Lucas: Your facial hair looks WAY too much like the magnetic hair in that old toy, Wooly Willy. You know, the one with the Mr. Clean-like smiling face and the metal shavings behind a plastic screen. You use a magnetic stick to move shavings up onto the guy's head, or to sculpt a goatee. Yeah. That guy. That's your facial hair...only you've got a quality about it that also makes it seem like you sweat stubble. Odd.

Not-so-random-thing to feel really good about: Jill Carroll has been freed in Iraq.

-cK

What's that in Fox's pocket?

A blogger/actor, Mollye Knox, was just called in for a little shoot on the set of Passions. Clap your hands! Say yeah! WOO-WOO!! According to her spoiler-free account of the day, Fox Crane (aka Mark Cameron Wystrach, if you're into reality) is a flirt, but a non-creepy flirt.

Should we be surprised? After all, Fox has tried repeatedly to get that increasingly fickle Kay Bennett to marry him, yet she's allowed Tabitha, that witch! (Seriously. Tabitha's a witch, spells and everything.), to convince her to say NO to Fox. Now Miguel has returned to Harmony and Kay is dreaming of him and darn near had a face-sucking session with him on today's episode.

This sort of defection of the heart is sure to unmoor even the actor's heart. Poor Fox/Mark. His heart's gonna get broken.

Ah, and if you like a teaser, well, Mollye reports that Mark's hiding something in his pocket...eh-hem. Check out her account.

Oy, Mollye! Congrats. I hope the SAG card helps kick open a few more doors.

Now, I guarantee she was having more fun on the Passions set than I was here in my living room. Anyone care to do a comparitive analysis between data tables in Korean, German and (arguably) English? Me neither. Alas, I survived. Woo! Cookie.

Randoms:
1. I really like Fancy in the rhinestone eye-patch! It ain't a pirate thing. I'm really sick of pirates, actually. Maybe it's a Kill Bill thing. (I did just download Tomoyasu Hotei's "Battle without Honor or Humanity" from iTunes.) Heck, I should give Fancy the benefit of the doubt. She's a Crane! Those are probably diamonds on her eyepatch. For those of you not following the show, the bum eye is the only injury she suffered from getting run over BY A CAR. The Cranes are tough, bub.
2. I need another day to dawn on Harmony because I can't stand that weird coat Teresa's been wearing for, what?, two weeks? When she's seated behind a desk, it looks like a suit coat. When she's standing, it looks like the lovechild of a long-tailed tuxedo jacket and a seriously short riding jacket. And think of how sweaty her left hand is getting cupping that glass constantly.
3. Am considering writing the screenplay sequel to Six Pack. Lie to me. Tell me you'll see it. I can't be the only one anticipating its 25th anniversary!
4. I'm still really liking Mew's Zookeeper's Boy. Some Danish music for you! The song just keeps twisting.
-cK

Prick him, does Dr. Alex North not bleed? And heal freakishly fast?

Dr. Alex North, yet another psychopath character whose powers of villainy are greatly enhanced by his proximity to Dr. Marlena Evans, is somewhat unbreakable. Any of you who watch Days of Our Lives know that plot lines move painfully slow, yet in what has been perhaps five weeks of episodes, elapsing perhaps one week on the show, Dr. Alex North has been shot, fallen two stories to the pavement below, hospitalized twice, beaten bloody and purple twice by John Black, and yet shows no sustainable bruising. Not a scratch on him at the moment.

John Black--aka Roman Brady [he was brainwashed by Stefano DiMera for this extensive plotline], aka Forrest Alamain [yet another anachronistically justified storyline] is currently taking aim at North. Literally. With a gun.

I realize a bullet to North might be lethal, THIS time, but I would really like a shrewd autopsy to reveal North's freakish healing condition.

Is there a medical condition to explain this?

And what hormone is Marlena Evans releasing to cause such behavior in John Black, Roman Brady (the REAL Roman Brady, though North is played by the original), Alex North, and Stefano DiMera? Deidrahallatonin?

I'd also like to note the eerie resemblance between the current Roman Brady, who's played by the dad from the Hogan Family, and the vampires on the Buffy series. Same hairline, wrinkled forehead, shrivelled upper lip.
-cK

We'll Start with the Peeps

Peeps abound of late. First we discovered experiments conducted upon these little marshmellow chicks (the Peeps), then Peeps protests hit Minnesota government.

Just Born Inc. makes more than 1 billion of these things per year, as this article notes.
-cK