tirsdag, marts 27, 2007

Humpty Was a Foodie

Digital Underground's "Humpty Dance" has been in my head this week.

It's odd to think that a group--let alone a rap group--putting out an album titled Sex Packets can get anywhere with a band member who wears a Groucho-esque nose and glasses in all public appearances.

Perhaps a Hard Rap Cafe will one day emerge and you can marvel at Humpty's fake nose and Flavor Flav's clock behind glass as you eat a bacon burger and listen to old Def Jam tracks.

(I do miss having a copy of Def Jam's 4-disc anniversary album.)

And might I just remind you all that 2Pac was part of Digital Underground? It's sort of like imagining Justin "Bring Back Sexy" Timberlake as a childhood dancer on a Disney glee club show. And then you wake and realize it hadn't been a ridiculous dream afterall but the ridiculous life you're living.

But I suppose Humpty wasn't kidding when very early in his self-titled dance song he warned us that he's "about to ruin the image and the style that your used to." Indeed.

The Foodie Emerges

A further inspection of the song reveals that Humpty wasn't just a braggart about his sexual exploits, asanine dancing, and all-around craziness. He was also quite a foodie.

Exhibit A:
He notes that he's going to "drink up all the Hennessey you got on your shelf." (But at least we had fair warning.) This drink emboldens him, apparently, for afterwards he introduces himself--and proceeds to coach us on how to pronounce his name. ("Pronounced with an umpty.")

Exhibit B: While other rappers might be satisfied telling us they like their beats funky--Who doesn't?--Humpty takes us a step further. He proclaims, "I like my oatmeal lumpy."

Exhibit C: You thought only your bottles of Hennessy were at risk around this modern-day Gargantua? You'd be wrong, friends. He further threatens to "eat up all your crackers and your licorice."

Exhibit D: His attraction to food is so intense that he "once got busy in a Burger King bathroom." Good lord.

Exhibit E:
The lurid associations to food set in. He proclaims that his nose is "big like a pickle." He makes no clarification for the falseness of his stage nose, thus adding, I think, a dildo-esque line of thought.

Exhibit F: This isn't even the first Digital Underground tune in which his pants-splitting foodie interest is revealed. He takes a moment in his own dance song to remind us that in "Do Whatcha Like" he was "the one who sang, 'Just grab him in the biscuits!'"

Humpty = Foodie.
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